Breaking Out of Writer’s Bloc

Reality is written all across the wall. I just purchased a bed side lamp with a pink shade.

I don’t know what feeling is stranger. Maybe you can help me out. The first idea is that I, a 27 year old male, decided to buy a 2 foot (probably more like 18 inches) bed side lamp with a pink shade and no bed side table with an unusual amount of irrational confidence that this was my best decision. The pink lamp floated to my pink matter out of the blue. The second idea is that I, a 27 year old male, reminisced on the process of buying this lamp, remembering that I consciously decided to select pink instead of beige, black, black shade (fancier black), gray, grey shade (for some reason Amazon explicitly spelled gray too different ways [that was a homophone, David — google, what is the difference between a homophone and a homonym?]), navy, red, teal, white, and last but not least, white shade. I am the type of person that loves to live and(/or) die by my decisions though. Partially related to my bullheadedness. Partially obsessed with being a martyr. Completely in love with the way the light shines against the pink cloth, creating an entirely new atmosphere in my room that brings a sense of calmness and creativity. Therefore, I will die with this lamp for the sake of all humans who just want a little bit of pink light in their life.

I woke up this morning with a sense of professionalism. I knew my work day was set to be challenging. I wore a purple dress shirt. Tommy Hilfiger. Middle Class style. Some dress slacks, black. A soft grey quarter zip. Light gray. A pair of beat up, brown dress shoes. I like my style for the most part, but I wouldn't mind a tiny upgrade to the wardrobe. New pair of green and brown Nikes that I have been eyeing for months. One, maybe two more dress shirts. A new turtleneck. When I decide to walk with fashion, fashion loves to walk with me. Once again, an irrational confidence about my life and all my decisions. The amount of money to spend on new clothes right now seems almost wasteful, but years of questionable trading (both my soul and my time) have worked in my favor. Suddenly, my second “no-hesitation” idea pops into my head. Invest $2,000 in the stock market. I hop out of the shower, listening to a playlist my friend shared, and log onto TD Ameritrade, a name of a bank for people reading this in the future when civilization has completely transformed into nothing we have seen before. Deposit money into my account. Walk out the door and bike to work in 30 degree weather on my thin, red bike. One red bike, one pink lamp, no car, no pink matter.

7:30 am to 5:30 pm. Some of those hours are self-inflicted hours, spending easily an hour+ every day making jokes to every single person in the office. But, I think the strategy is working well. Being the funniest person in the office is a blessing and a curse; clearly wanting to complete your work, but at the same time everyone is in desperate need of a laugh. During the work week, I find myself at Harbinger a couple times. I decided that today was a perfect time to go. Indie music plays in the background. Same order every time for me - one six ounce cappuccino. I sat down with the friend who shared the playlist. She looks at me in amazement, referring to me as a renaissance man, a modern prophet who is wise beyond his years. I offer to read her palms. I spoke about our future as well as our past. I took an online course for palm reading. I ended the class with a B. The final was rather difficult. You have to read the palms of a cat who hates you one day and loves you the next. The woman left. I stayed back to watch the odd behavior of humans at coffee shops. Another day in Beautiful Fort Collins, Colorado.

My mom invited me over for dinner. We never formally celebrated my birthday from last week. I ended up with covid one day before my birthday. So, I was starting to feel better and ready to fall back into my normal mindset. Besides, my mom made homemade gnocchi. How could I resist? It was a fun night. The family sauce. A little bit of World Series baseball. Stand up comedy special. Excellent glass (or two) of red wine. We talk about my brother for a little while. If only I could convince my brother to move out here. That would be an incredible reunion. Once a week, you would see the three most bizarre people in Fort Collins hanging out, singing, and acting at all of the breweries in town. If you spend some time with us, you are guaranteed to experience one of the more bizarre moments of your life. I love my family, though. I would not be the person I am without them. Much love to both of them.

I pack some leftovers for lunch tomorrow, place them in my lunch bag from work, and bike back home (No I am not your Grub Hub delivery driver. Leave me alone.). I arrive to an Amazon package at my front door. The Pink Lamp. In less than 24 hours, my idea transformed into reality. It felt like Christmas came early. Every detail about my new home was rapidly changing. The pink lamp would transcend the basement from middle-of-the-pack basement to super basement, a title only reserved for a select few. I put together the bed side lamp. Two steps. Beautiful. Now it is time to screw in the light bulb.

(Queue the cliché image of an actual light bulb appearing above my head)

Remember, I started my day feeling professional. Therefore, this photo embodies everything about me right now. I forgot to share one of the main reasons I wanted a lamp in the first place. I bought a lamp with a “smart” light bulb that can turn on and off based on scheduling. I owned a similar smart bulb in my past life and I didn’t realize how much I appreciated this technology.. It took nearly two months to realize that I needed a smart light bulb in my life again. I created a schedule for the light to turn on at 6 AM. Tomorrow is the start of a new morning routine. I will rewire the way I approach my mornings. Start each day in the perfect mindset. I will master the goals that I want to achieve. I will eat a well balanced meal and drink a glass of orange juice on the side. Yes, I will embrace being a morning person (while still a night person). My energy levels are still significantly higher than the normal human. I should have never participated in that clinical trial in college. Palm Reading with the latest and greatest new drug, [insert your favorite addiction right now]. Tomorrow morning will be Poetic; Pink light. professionalism. Pink Matter.